Lover's First Kiss

To her I tell another little secret
My world unfolds, while shinning in her eyes
For years I've walked never truly seeing
And now it's clear with her upon myside
I feel her touch, it's leaving me so breathless
My heart is racing, I'm feeling so alive
So tonight I'll lay dreaming in my wanting
Of the girl I kissed, for which my heart now thrives
With my first glance, she was so enchanting
As I looked up and saw her dancing in the sky
So to me she gave a smile of such beauty
So enticing was she, it took me by surprize
Love at first sight is only but a whisper
And when two stars meet, they'll shoot off into the night
Such beauty with such grace is a sonet when I kiss her
My heart is only longing for the secrets in her eyes
And when we are held in the arms of one another
Forever we will dream along the shooting stars of our own sky

One's Own Neverland

I press my hand against her breast and listen as she breathes
A heartbeat sounding forever on, so much said in one's own sleep
Her gentle dreams bring warmth to mind, an together we are held
A sleepless night within my mind is forgotten all to well
So there she lays in one's own sleep with a smile upon her heart
I hold her tight against my chest, then wish upon my star
Such a perfect world that I live in when she is next to me
It's as though fate spoke when we first met, an from there it was meant to be
Her dreams of warmth fall gently now and guide me to my sleep
A life of pain was all I knew, now my heart can know some peace
So in the night we lay here still, together in the dark
Untouched are we by simple pain, for complex is the love of hearts
So on she'll dream as I just listen with one's own pressing hand
As she tells her silent fairytale, we'll drift off to Neverland

Darkside of The Heart

I must confront my darkside and learn to let it go
To forgive my inner demons and the pain that I still hold
Consuming is this haunting, always hiding what I'm to be
These hardships that I am bearing are weighing down on me
I must find my own forgiveness to discover my own path
And not forget my darkside from the troubles of my past
My memories are apart of me and the man that I've become
If I close my eyes to ignore them, I'll know not where I am from
My struggles have been tiring, to where I am so weak
I must use these learnings wisely and struggle to my feet
A painful life of falling, so dark I can't recall
Might of left me injured but the healing defines us all
So when I show my darkside and start to fall apart
I'll think of all my falling and fight with all my heart

My Lonely Dove

Please fly to me my lost love dove
Up overhead in skies above
You hide in clouds so I can't see
Your teardrops fall, like rain you weep
O please my dove, please listen well
This heartbeat rising to where you fell
For all I have is not enough
I'd give it all just for your touch
Like strangers now I walk this ground
As you fly by, above, not found
I feel your presence as feathers fall
But when I look up only rain still falls
O my love, my lonely dove
Please come to me, I feel your love
I feel your heart and know your mind
With you so far I feel so blind
So on I'll walk as my word flies
And hope one day to behold your eyes
Because my dove, my only love
I see only you in skies above

October Breath

Walking through this tall grass field
I see the breath October feels
Falling sunlight on falling leaves
Watching breath as I breathe
In early mourning I give my sigh
As my whole world meets falling sky
And in the middle of this mist
I feel a gentle falling kiss
October mourning I see your songs
A bird's lone chatter with jumping fawns
This field I walk holds all my peace
This fall time air inspires me
Painting thoughts with my own words
The leaves dance down and souls are heard
My changing seasons, you touch me so
For new beginings hold all my hope

Tears of Sand

I slip away into my depth
Just fear and I with no one left
The silence falls and angels weep
The walls I've built brings me my peace
I hear their calls but they can't help
This broken heart consumes itself
I feel these worms dig through my mind
The darkness spreads, only hate I find
So much pain with loves I lost
They left me here at selfish costs
The tears I give turn into sand
Then fills the glass and breaks in hand
My depth, my curse, my mind, my pain
These silent screams, am I insane?
The walls of fear, my endless depth
A broken heart with no one left
Weeping angels and tears of sand
The spreading darkness for which I am
The worms of hate and selfish costs
Alone am I and always lost
Down I look upon this man
Please my love, I need thy hand

The Mirror Distorted

There is a ripple in the water with every drop that falls
Distorted is this image from which I can't recall
I start to listen clearly even though he cannot speak
This man is slowly falling and looking very weak
A drowning man is calling, so I'm giving out my hand
But living through this torture seems not to be his plan
I give a calling screaming, for now he starts to weep
While hearing in the distance a voice that cannot speak
These tears that keep on falling make it so I can't see
Each ripple that is forming is a wall that I'm to be
This man just keeps on fading, why won't he take me by the hand
Why I give my caring I have yet to understand
Now as this sky stops crying, his face I start to see
A man that's done his dying has no wanting to be free
I look into this water, a reflection of a man
A mirror of his father so now I start to stand
The only face I stare at is one that is well known
For even though it's lifeless it is one that is my own

The Prince and I

Underneath the hollow tree an owl watches over me
Without a word alone he sits
Such glaring eyes I know this prince
These trees give cry as though afraid
This nighttime air seems so dismayed
I feel a presence well known to me
A watchful owl opens wings and speaks
"Child sweet child why do you cry?"
"Is it cause your alone and have no where to hide?"
"These eyes see more than what you believe"
"An though a good man I see the pain that you keep"
O owl wise owl I know not what you mean
I am not running, I just want to be seen
An if I say so myself, your eyes are quite gone
I am not crying, now quite, be gone
And at this response the prince just started to laugh
For the owl had known the years of my past
" Listen to me now, I see through all of your lies"
"I can see into your future and the past that you hide"
"And though your not crying I still see all of the tears"
"The loves you have lost and the pain through your years"
"So here you are now, lost and alone"
"As you quiver afraid, still just writing your poems"
"I know you can see what potential you have"
"Stop having self pity and press on through your past"
"Your eyes show your pain and also your strength"
"An though there is sorrow, you shine in your wake"
"I know you feel tired, weakened, and frayed"
"But see past this illusion and stop being afraid"
"The path thats before you offers no help"
"Nothing is given you must take it yourself"
"And when the day comes that your path meets an end"
"I promise before you we will speak once again"
An with a sly gesture the owl took off into flight
As I stood there just watching into the night
Not sure of this vision or what I had seen
I felt passion inside me and reached out for my dream
So with only a gesture and an ending unknown
I started my journey with a pen and a poem
An when I feel lost I will look up to the sky
To see my prince soaring showing me why

The Poet's Kiss

As I rise in the mourning and find you asleep
Somberly you lay there with the beauty you keep
Now pressing our lips we remain so intwined
My heart beating to the symphony that I call your mind
So with a warm hearted smile and all of your love
I fly from my window to the stars up above
For I am the sun and you are the moon
And no matter the years we will continue intune
O love of loves with stars in your eyes
You give reason in being which causes my rise
Softer than silk, your hair falls with such grace
Euphoria fullfilling me when you hold me in place
So here I shall sit and fill book after book
Finding the words for the heart you have took
You are more than a lover you are truly a friend
Shedding my tears while guiding this pen
To say you are perfect would be more than untrue
For it is your flaws for why I love you
Never selfcentered and always so caring
The affection you hold is mine for the taking
So many times have I been lost in the dark
Finding my way with the light of your heart
If only I knew what this life meant to give
Then never in pain we would able to live
So lay there at night and feel all of my words
Only you knowing of the poet's kiss that you heard

The Reflecting Sand

This life that he is living is more than just a dream
Can you feel his passion rising it's bursting at the seams
A young man keeps on writing, alone by candle light
You see his shadows dancing, while his words come into sight
His world is but a mirror, a past thats always there
But if he tilts this mirror, then his path might change a hair
It's all about perspective and where he tends to stand
He sees the things that change him but the view is all in sand
This man has so much meaning but no one seems to see
That he cares not for faulty meanings, he's just wanting to be free
So in this darkened room, still shining is his light
He is sitting in his silence, still just writing in the night

A Watchful Eye

I miss you friend whose looking down
Keeping watch on loves well found
I close my eyes to behold your face
Still shedding tears, please soothe this hate
My prayers to you are all thats left
A world now gray without your breath
I miss you mat and all we had
How is my father, is he still sad?
The path I took lead me astray
Please forgive me now and guide my way
My love for you was always there
I tried my best, please know I care
My fallen brother for which I weep
Am I a coward and deserve no peace?
With all I am, I hope you know
My love for you shall always grow
An down the road when I meet my end
I will search for you and brace my friend

I miss you Mat, love Andrew

Heartbeat Rising

I still see that fading shimmer when I look unto your eyes
The wanting of forgetting of my darkened hurtful lies
Remembering of our past and unsure of whats to be
Has left you in a crossroad, I can see the pain you keep
Please know that I am trying and understand why I must wait
I know you are not certain because of my mistakes
I'm sure that I'm still hurting you and should probably walk away
But understand I cannot for my heart still has some faith
At night I lay here dreaming an your all thats on my mind
I promise if you'll trust me no other's love could be like mine
I have shown you who I am, still paying back on my mistakes
I hope you see me truly an find a risk that you should take
An if ever you should kiss me I will take you by the hand
Press it to my heartbeat and hope you'll understand
For my heartbeat seems to rise up then settle to a pause
For this is why I'm human, I'm sorry for my flaws

The Distant Sound

Im sitting here awakened and feeling like I'm drawn
A patient man thats falling, such a life of simple pawns
Realize your life of failing an who we are that we must be
Is their anyone thats listening or am I the only one that sees
The voices keep on calling but I never seem to find
What it is that I am searching for which in turn has left me blind
So on we all keep walking never thinking of our steps
Until we take that weary step and were falling out of breath
Day by day it all keep passing, I'm sure its just a dream
I'm sure when I start falling I will wake an then be seen
Can you here that in the distance, that O so failing sound
It's the words that I've been searching for, I think I'm finaly found

Soulless Bliss

A soul forgotten within my tear
Slowly falling through this winter air
A sleepless night within my mind
To many thoughts I cannot find
The howling wind cuts to my bone
A lonely wolf still finds no home
My mind is bleeding from all this thought
I find no comfort in lessons taught
Now looking back from whence I came
I see I'm lost and have no way
Circles drawn on these closed eyes
The mask I wear from those who've died
The depth I have is why I fall
An is my reason I've lost you all
So in my darkness alone I'll sit
My only company in soulless bliss

The Words I Held

Words well said can leave you blind
Words well heard can change your mind
The words you've said once held their pain
An brought my tears like drowning rain
No wanting now for the words I've lost
I've paid my price and all the costs
To long I've spent so torn apart
Your words no longer reach my heart
So know this now I hold no pain
Then hold the past and hold my shame
I know your words held good intent
I hold no grudge for pain well spent
With these last words I write to you
Now in my eyes are friends held true

A Dreamer's Path

With silence so soothing gentle singing away
I hear in the distance no confusion today
Mind is set free to wander with please
Visions glide by drifting with breeze
Now with content I breath my new peace
Forever about me guiding my sleep
I hear my new hopes rising in the moonlight
Forever still gazing at stars in the night
O dream broken child away your old sins
Defeat your own demons and dont let them in
For when the time comes that I must realize
I'll be my own man and stand up with my pride
Then soon a bit after I started to wake
Longing to dream of the paths I must take

The Void in Heart

My mind is lost, my heart is torn
I grab my chest in my mourn
The scars I wear reflect myself
Alone I sit with no ones help
The pain I feel is in my bones
Then through my pen and out my poems
To the sky I give my cry
As tears roll down, I wonder why
The pain I feel knows no end
I burn and watch the loves I mend
This darkened room holds all my grief
Emotions torn is why I weep
The only thing that has not came
Is my dark clouds to end their rain
I feel the calm before the storm
The loss of love has left me worn
Try and try but I still fail
Lost in my mind I can't conceal
To those of you that are reading this
Know my pain and lack of bliss
All I have is not enough
To fill my empty endless cup
O love of loves I'm torn apart
Please whisper words to mend this heart

Who I Am

I know my faults and who I am
Please listen now and understand
With all my passion I act in haste
An all my depth shows in my face
But with my passion, steps in my heart
An the love I hold tears me apart
I think to much, but never ahead
The lies I tell could weave a web
But this is so the ones I love
Will never fall and stay above
I am to hopeful with things unclear
Which in return, I cause their tears
I have much patience and bear much wieght
I do have limits but never hate

My actions are mistaken for thinking of myself
Only trying to protect those for which I cannot help
Always sacrificing, to help others off the ground
An yes I do feel lonely that my love is not yet found
The loyalty I have will never cease to stop
My mistakes come in many, but I learn what I am taught
The promises I make I always try to keep
But being optimistic tends to sweep me off my feet
My past is dark with clouds, leaving me depressed
But still I see some light in a future that may be blessed
For know thats all I'm writing, I'm sorry it's not more
If you want to know this man you must open up your door

The Desert Bleak

Alone I wander in desert bleak
This thirst I crave has left me weak
I consume and take, a well not filled
On I go with pain not killed
O desert bleak please let me see
So I might wander away from thee
The years that pass are all just sand
My mind is lost, but still I stand
These passing faces are all the same
They look no different and have no names
My lips are cracked and so my heart
I thirst for which I cannot part
In desert bleak I make my way
This sea of sand and my decay
O desert bleak please promise me
If I am found just let me be

Clouded Skies

Come and go you passing day
Still I see no stars this May
Day and night come in with clouds
I feel the rain my heart allows
On my bed I give my stare
Through my window, with no care
I long for stars that only shine
Such meeting eyes I cannot find
A passing day, a clouded face
Which hides my pain I cannot face
I try my best to not and want
These clouded skies that only taunt
I know such clouds will finaly part
With parting clouds Ill find my heart
And when again I find those eyes
Ill watch them shine like stars in skies

The Blind Man

Now on again I start weave
This long and complex tale
With twists and turns and ups and downs
My dreams have been my shield
I hear your voice but can not see
Will you lead this heart to home
With broken eyes and this cracked heart
I search your lovely tone
These recent steps were mine to take
An I took them all alone
O feel my whispers brush back your hair
To the window of your home
Now in my dreams I see your face
Like a man that once could see
For as long as we keep out of sight
A blind man I shall be
So hard I try but can not write
My heart is at a stop
I need a muse, some inspiration
Can you lend me just a thought?
A simple touch, a gentle whisper
Or even just a look
Would be enough for me to see
An gain back the heart you've took
I know my acts and who I am
An feel what I can be
On this next turn whether up or down
I hope that I can see

The Distorted Illusion

Now looking at my picture, you say you see my art
But my meaning so much deeper, if you only knew my heart
As a focus point in thought, you blend against the rain
I feel your lonely droplets with this mind thats gone insane
You try to understand me, but your looks are so confused
If my actions are not clear, then I have nothing left to loose
An though you hear me clearly, to me you have no tune
Forever I am reaching towards the stars and darkened moon
Now falling off my face I look at my own tear
Forever seeing eyes which have never been so clear
Distorted is this image reflecting back at me
Wtih illusions that are bending I am not what you can see
I know the words I tell you make less than perfect sense
But this is how I show you what I feel at present tense

A Thousand Broken Hearts

I'm sorry for misleadings and all the pain I cause
I'm sorry for my anger and this life I can not pause
I'm sorry I have hurt you and will never stay away
I'm sorry you are reading this and the debt I can not pay
Forever I will love you an forever hold this grief
I'm sorry I'm no better and becoming such a thief
My life has been so wicked which in turn has left me blind
How I long for your forgiveness and your words that were so kind
I'm sorry I could not stand up when you could only sit
But please look past my sorries for this blind man needs your kiss
I know I not deserve you and are forsaken to be alone
But give my life some meaning, so this man can know a home
An tho my life is wicked, I am capable of love
So let me grasp your hand, so I might finaly rise above
How I hope that you are reading this and feel my lonley sorrow
Forever I will be sorry and have never felt so hollow

A Sense for Love

Sitting in my thoughts I shed a final tear
For patiently I am waiting for my lover to appear
To long alone life's kept us apart from our own home
I feel the day is coming for which you've always known
For I am but a simple man with only simple needs
I long for only simple eyes that will keep this heart that bleeds
So part away my darkness that always keeps me blind
Before my darkness eats me and my love you cannot find
I feel my days are numbered if I do not ascend
To skies that you've been waiting my lost and lonely friend
I know I not deserve you for all that I have done
But God allow me this an I'll give back your lonely son
I only long for meaning, in a life that has no sound
For I am def, dumb, and blind with a love thats not yet found
For those that are reading this and the stories that I've told
I only long for warmness in a heart that feels so cold

The Falling Child

Where is my child, O where can he be
I'm staring down an edge, just wanting to be free
I feel my well is empty, I've never had enough
This desert that I wander in, has never filled my cup
Lost am I now sitting, wandering in my depth
My visions only haunt me, forseeing my own death
Day by day is passing when faces are the same
I wander all alone, with no one left to blame
I long to numb this feeling, slowly withering away
Why do I keep rising, just to fall another day
So keep on falling child, on def ears falls your sound
I'm searching in the distance, never to be found
The years on such a young face, show only in my eyes
For even tho I'm dying, I'll live on through my disguise
This world is only wicked, no matter how you step
I hope I keep on falling, til I run out of breath
So reach into my thoughts an brace what you have known
You all know my feeling, but only I can write this poem

A Leaf Well Lived

Now in my thought I learn to breathe
With noises gone I finaly see
Pictures fade that keep me sane
My eyelids lift to show their pain
So here I sit an start to cry
An then I see a leaf dance by
A simple leaf yet so much more
Bringing life to the forest floor
Majestic is this leaf I see
Slowly dying but yet so free
And even tho it was a leaf short lived
This leaf will die with love well gived
Such beauty seen in such a leaf
Such sorrow in a life so brief
And as he dances above our ground
This leaf becomes a man well found
So on you dance where you belong
Above us all to to sing your song
Now dance away and leave our tree
An with your son I'll remember thee




In Memory of Mathew Salois, your finaly
where you belong. Above all of us.

The Illusion of Love

Look past my illusion and through these cold eyes
Lonely and fragile, I tear through this disguise
No one really knows me, I shape what they see
Manipulation of minds that dont understand me
I speak with my riddles slowly going insane
Trapped in a box that you people sustain
Six walls, six mirrors, and six people to be
With a tongue thats of silver, only my devil is free
So listen to my words and feel how I feel
Lost in a sea, with only my pain to conceal
To the people that hurt me and tore me apart
My precision is deadly, I'll aim for your heart
My anger is limitless and comes out of this page
My words have much meaning, you should be afraid
So on I'll continue with the sad song that I sing
While others just dance, for I hold all the strings
And when the day comes that I know of my love
My walls will come down and I'll fly with my dove

The Moonlight Dream

When she was just a young girl, living in her dream
She stared across the sky and caught a moonlight beam
Now dancing in this moonlight with her shinning moonlit hair
She looked upon this world as tho it really wasn't there
So in the sky she dances and turns the world around
As a young man starts to wander in hopes of being found
Now staring in the distance, this man can finaly see
An angel in the moonlight dancing to be free
So singing in this moonlight two lovers leave the ground
Together they are dancing for the love that keeps them bound
Two stars they are shinning, look at how they gleam
Forever they are living in a passion moonlight beam
Now drink away the stars an see what they have seen
Two lovers in the moonlight, dancing in their dream

Love of Loves

As I rise in the mourning and find you a sleep
Somberly you lay there with the beauty you keep
So pressing our lips we remain so intwined
My heart beating to the symphony that I call your mind
An with a warm hearted smile and all of your love
I fly from my window to the skies up above
For I am the sun and you are the moon
An no matter the years we will continue our tune
O love of loves with stars in your eyes
You give reason in being which causes my rise
Softer than silk your hair falls with such grace
Euphoria fulfilling me as you hold me in place
So here I shall sit an fill book after book
Finding the words for the heart you have took
You are more than a lover you are truly a friend
Shedding my tears while holding this pen
And to say you are perfect would be untrue
For it is your imperfections for why I love you

Ashes to Ashes, Demons to Dust

Where ever I turn theres always a pain that I must face
And when I turn back my demons put me out of place
But enough is enough, I'm tired of always backing down
I've been to hell and back just to crawl up from the ground
So let them come face me as I take a final stand
With fire in my eyes and a mind that is at hand
I'll break free from my chains and rise from my knee
Just to rise from this ground for all of you to see
My entire life I've been hiding from all of my pain
It's like already being wet and hiding from the rain
My mind has been demented, twisted, and frayed
I would'nt doubt if I was dreaming to keep me enslaved
But come do or die I must forget all that has past
For I'm burning from inside and breathing out my ash
And whether this life is a life you want to see
You will listen to my words and face what I'm to be
For when I'm done burning I will have fallen to the ground
Just to rise from my ashes and be what I had found

The Day Dreaming Mind

My visions still haunt me when I'm a sleep
With my back to the wall unable to speak
So I lay there at night, wanting to wake
Day dreaming at night reliving my hate
As I clutch at my stomach recalling the cost
Niether here nor there, my mind's at a loss
Forever just laying there, letting go of my screams
Continuously seeing these never ending dreams
They play tricks on my mind and tear at my soul
As my fingers run down the stories I've told
Still to this day I see blood in the snow
And the touch of a friend as I started to go
With the icy cold touch from deaths own hand
A warm feeling of blood across a cold man
Always facing a door for who might come through
Never showing your back for what they might do
And when I make love I feel I might be insane
Unsure of a stranger and the mind she contains
Woe are the nights I relive this again
Loosing my breath, watching my end
So on I will live and continue my life
Seeing my blood at the end of this knife
An when the sun rises will be when I cry
For missing my chance and still wanting to die

Moving On

After all I've said an all I've done
You stepped away and held the gun
The days I've had with sleepless nights
Alone I drink wasting life
You had my love, you held my heart
Just to smile as it was torn apart
Your pieces set you made your move
So on I ran away from you
The pain so great it hurt to breath
As you stood by an watched me bleed
Day by day I worked away
With greedy hands you took my pay
My heart so broken I couldn't see
O how could you do this to me
You deserve your suffering, you deserve to weep
An from my distance it brings me peace
So life moves on and you fade away
With all your pain that made me stay
So alone you sit, as I find my love
With only her I'll fly above

Falling Into the Depths

This mirror cracked I give my stare
Falling through my midnight glare
Holding on to ones own self
Falling down I find no help
Searching eyes for secrets kept
I show a smile for all I've wept
Holes there are in these devil eyes
A silver tongue that only lies
So on I tumble in my head
All alone for what I've said
Lighting fires with no concern
On all I love to watch an burn
Such vague attempts to gain trust back
Explains insanity from which I'm trapped
So on I fall in my mind
Cracking mirrors until I find
Find the person I can not seek
The only person that brings me peace

My Beginning

My struggles are hard in which I still stand
To accomplish my dreams and all that I plan
An each day I shall wake, but continue to dream
Just to rise to the clouds and finaly be seen
My blood, sweet, and tears are all well to known
As I wear down my hands then continue my poem
Though we are different, there is one thing we share
To live life in glory for all to adhere
My dreams have been vague but are starting to show
Writing my sonets so others may know
Like a star in the sky, my light reaches this earth
My dreams are in grasp, now witness my birth
So no longer afraid I hold what is true
I will rise to my challenge an bestow unto you
The thoughts in my mind an the pain in my years
The visions that haunt me and my darkest of fears
The loves I have gained and those that I have lost
The dreams that I have and what I pay for the cost
The journeys I've taken and still might begin
How I rose from my depths and live on with my sin
But not all of my paths have been taken alone
When I was to weak, my loved ones gave me a home
They were my beacons when I could not see
Giving me love, from which I still breathe
So keep this in mind when reading my tale
This is not fiction but my life I reveal

One To Call My Own

A long lost love for which I shed tears
How I miss you so an the touch we had shared
Forever your fading always drifting away
Dreaming at night, how I wish you would stay
Your voice is so subtle an such a flowery scent
Recalling summer nights and the time we had spent
With stars in your eyes for which I still see
How I try not to cry for I wish I could breathe
These are the the words that I hope you have known
Reading my poetry for a poet's kiss has been blown
You are what's good in my heart an how I long for the day
That I catch you again and our music shall play
So no matter the distance you will always recieve
My heart, soul, and mind for the love you achieve
O how I love your smile an I love your face
Your silky hair and the pain you erase
Your song like voice and those stary eyes
How you somberly sleep an lighten my skies
An your flowery scent is always so freeing
Your presence alone inspires my being
Your traits are so many, I'm just writing a few
This picture I'm painting is the best I can do
So when the day comes we finaly turn old
People will read this an feel the love that we hold

A Shattered Sonet

O how I regret ever meeting you still
Hypnotizing my mind from which I feel ill
The love which you spoke was only a lie
Infatuation mistaken, my heart shattered inside
Trying to leave I was already to late
I gave you my heart in return for your hate
No no longer unfamilar is when you drifted away
Shattered you left me, damaged, and frayed
Filling my head with lies an false dreams
Selfish were you as I gave silent screams
Slowly you watched me loosing my mind
Longing for the words which had once be so kind
So falling in love with a person not really there
I gave you my all but never did you care
What happened to you was not of my fault
Trying to carry you I put my life to a halt
My method of revenge was to make your life shattered
So I took then from you, when my love should've of mattered
Reaching into your chest with all that I am
I crushed you whole being ruining your plan
You left my heart shattered an turned your back in the end
Your my biggest regret, your such a horrible friend
Never again will I make such a mistake
Before I shall love, I'll watch for a fake
Cruel an vindictive were you playing this game
This was my life, only yourself can hold blame
So my last words to you are ones you have earned
My heart is like fire, now feel my cruel burn
Infatuation an love are never the same
So read this an know, you should cry with your shame

A Rose in Life

My sister my sister, this is what you should know
All my love that you have, along with my hope
And through out this long life no matter the stakes
I will learn all the lessons just to show you the way
With the choices you've made, our father watches in pride
I'd fall to my knees so you might kiss him goodbye
An at the day you were born, I held you and knew
That I'd always be there just to hold you
An when the day came that our father was gone
I picked up his mantle that you had been on
For I am your brother an on my shoulder's you'll rise
If it means your well being I will suffer with pride
My sister my sister your face keeps my heart still
Even when lost, you bring me back with shear will
O Heather my sister so innocent and pure
Our father would weep if he had lived just once more
For my little sister Heather Rose Olson,
May you learn from me an reach the sky.

Through My Travels

I write this to you so you might see
See the resolve in my mind an all I believe
My path has been hard and has taken its toll
An the pain, loss, and sorrow causes my hole
But now more than ever I welcome this pain
Causing my focus as I walk through this rain
An though I might buckle, my shoulders wont give
I'll struggle back up an continue to live
Now over these years I've never felt more alive
My mind, heart, and shoulders are starting to thrive
And when once again I find I'm to bleed
I'll pray to my father, for his strength I will need
So thank you my loved one who always stood by
Even when I was lost an caused you to cry
You gave light to my path an showed me the way
Forever I'll love you, forever I'll stay

One's True Friend

Book O book how you listen so well
Storing my secrets never wanting to tell
We are connected as one as only one can concieve
Heart, mind, and soul you are my reason to be
Through the good times and bad you never had questions
Allowing me to write so you could teach me my lessons
When dark and alone you were my beacon of light
To write down my sorrows that burdened my life
When I found the one you gave the inspiration I sought
Helping a romantic speak of love with only his thought
The times we have shared makes you my friend
For when it gets dark, I know you'll be there again
An when I pass on they will know what you meant to me
For the sonets you hold will be known as our symphony


In dedication to my journal

Cry O Child

Cry O child an give thy tears
Weep to thy God an have no fear
Alone and lost with no where to go
You sit in the dark, only sorrow you know
Knowing no family or the feel of love
His only companion is a lost injured dove
So tears dwell in the little ones eye
As he stares at the stars that dwell in our sky
An tho we all hope his tale ends well
Above looks his parents only wishing to tell
Tell their son that he was onced loved
An how sorry they are that they wait up above
An as I write this poem be honest to yourself
If you walked past this child would you offer him help
An this his how I must finish my tale
It's up to you for blessings to prevail

Pieces of a Puzzle

My heart is depleted, empty an drained
Uncertain of my future am I going insane?
I have no control of whats to come of my fate
I just sit in my head as I wonder in wait
The choses I've made were the best I believe
Am I the only one that saw whats to be
It's out of my hands an i cannot wait
Can I change my direction or am I to late
Like a faucet thats broken I'm dripping away
As my love for you will never decay
Please just see me for what I am
Loyal but a fool I grasp your hand
My reasons for being shall never be seen
For I am the one that has this dream
Tho I'm in pieces an unsure of your heart
I am just a puzzle that has fallen apart
What ever your choice I will hold it true
For in the end I have become apart of you

Perceiving Faces

I sit here an wonder can you see what I see
See the changes in faces that my eye's perceive
For the face of a stranger changes when they become friends
An then when I love them their beauty has no end
An then down the road for reasons unknown
Love becomes hate an gives reason for a poem
So I sit here in thought, how can this be?
One person, four faces playing cruel tricks on me
But remember to thyself whatever the face
One perceives another with love or with hate
An tho you hate someone they are still to be loved
Even strangers and friends have someone to think of
An yes faces change through one's own eyes
But when you see one face the other's dont hide
So read this poem even though its written in youth
Faces might change, but the heart shows you the truth

A Poet's Sorrow

So here I sit among my dreams

Outside my head there is no me

Looking down upon myself

Shedding tears there is no help

My dreams are vague an out of grasp

But etched in stone is relapse

Fly away my sorrow songs

This sea of faces I don’t belong

By my side these strangers stand

But looking down they give no hand

A poet’s sorrow a laughing face

Sheds a tear with so much hate

Frustration for these fragile dreams

What you see is not me

Lost am I now sitting down

I must walk again up off this ground

One's Own Journey

I stare into your eye's only wishing to be
The man that you want but I'm unable to see
Unable to see how you really felt
As you stood by screaming for help
Only seeing the surface an not the cracks
You held me tight an I fell through the gaps
An though so close it seems so far
Now we now who we really are
Both have limits an both have pains
An though I'm crazy I'm not insane
An still my memories will continue to fade
But still I'll dream unafraid
An for all the suffering my heart keeps
It is your smile that brings it peace
I tell you now I'm surrounded by pain
Surrounded by loss followed by shame
But if you could give me a reason to be
I will hold you tight an you will be free
For even though I have not much to give
It is my love not many may live

One Last Look

My thoughts are blurred and still they fade
I'm looking down so afraid
His hand is stiff an lips are blue
His touch is cold, can this be true
My heart's in race from all this panic
I turn my head, I cannot bear it
I see no smile on his face
Nor the love that warmed this place
His eyes are empty an can not see
Who is this man infront of me
Young am I and now know my pain
Destructive paths are what keep me sane
Forever gone, my father's missed
A child torn without his kiss
Now we part an I go my way
He leaves this earth an I must stay
So hear this father an give thy hand
Your son is now his own man
To my father, may you rest in peace

Winter's First Whipser

O my beauty can you feel my whispering

Brushing back your hair as you lay there shivering

My words fall upon you like winter's first snow

Everyone unique, only for you to know

But the blanket I lay upon you feels not cold

For my words are warm hearted an for you to hold

Now rest your weary eyes through this wintery night

An think of my whispering so I may hold you tight

For even the impossible is more than it seems

Just remember my whispering an together we'll dream

We'll dream of a night lying together in snow

As I brush back your hair whispering you not to go