Moving On

After all I've said an all I've done
You stepped away and held the gun
The days I've had with sleepless nights
Alone I drink wasting life
You had my love, you held my heart
Just to smile as it was torn apart
Your pieces set you made your move
So on I ran away from you
The pain so great it hurt to breath
As you stood by an watched me bleed
Day by day I worked away
With greedy hands you took my pay
My heart so broken I couldn't see
O how could you do this to me
You deserve your suffering, you deserve to weep
An from my distance it brings me peace
So life moves on and you fade away
With all your pain that made me stay
So alone you sit, as I find my love
With only her I'll fly above

Falling Into the Depths

This mirror cracked I give my stare
Falling through my midnight glare
Holding on to ones own self
Falling down I find no help
Searching eyes for secrets kept
I show a smile for all I've wept
Holes there are in these devil eyes
A silver tongue that only lies
So on I tumble in my head
All alone for what I've said
Lighting fires with no concern
On all I love to watch an burn
Such vague attempts to gain trust back
Explains insanity from which I'm trapped
So on I fall in my mind
Cracking mirrors until I find
Find the person I can not seek
The only person that brings me peace

My Beginning

My struggles are hard in which I still stand
To accomplish my dreams and all that I plan
An each day I shall wake, but continue to dream
Just to rise to the clouds and finaly be seen
My blood, sweet, and tears are all well to known
As I wear down my hands then continue my poem
Though we are different, there is one thing we share
To live life in glory for all to adhere
My dreams have been vague but are starting to show
Writing my sonets so others may know
Like a star in the sky, my light reaches this earth
My dreams are in grasp, now witness my birth
So no longer afraid I hold what is true
I will rise to my challenge an bestow unto you
The thoughts in my mind an the pain in my years
The visions that haunt me and my darkest of fears
The loves I have gained and those that I have lost
The dreams that I have and what I pay for the cost
The journeys I've taken and still might begin
How I rose from my depths and live on with my sin
But not all of my paths have been taken alone
When I was to weak, my loved ones gave me a home
They were my beacons when I could not see
Giving me love, from which I still breathe
So keep this in mind when reading my tale
This is not fiction but my life I reveal

One To Call My Own

A long lost love for which I shed tears
How I miss you so an the touch we had shared
Forever your fading always drifting away
Dreaming at night, how I wish you would stay
Your voice is so subtle an such a flowery scent
Recalling summer nights and the time we had spent
With stars in your eyes for which I still see
How I try not to cry for I wish I could breathe
These are the the words that I hope you have known
Reading my poetry for a poet's kiss has been blown
You are what's good in my heart an how I long for the day
That I catch you again and our music shall play
So no matter the distance you will always recieve
My heart, soul, and mind for the love you achieve
O how I love your smile an I love your face
Your silky hair and the pain you erase
Your song like voice and those stary eyes
How you somberly sleep an lighten my skies
An your flowery scent is always so freeing
Your presence alone inspires my being
Your traits are so many, I'm just writing a few
This picture I'm painting is the best I can do
So when the day comes we finaly turn old
People will read this an feel the love that we hold

A Shattered Sonet

O how I regret ever meeting you still
Hypnotizing my mind from which I feel ill
The love which you spoke was only a lie
Infatuation mistaken, my heart shattered inside
Trying to leave I was already to late
I gave you my heart in return for your hate
No no longer unfamilar is when you drifted away
Shattered you left me, damaged, and frayed
Filling my head with lies an false dreams
Selfish were you as I gave silent screams
Slowly you watched me loosing my mind
Longing for the words which had once be so kind
So falling in love with a person not really there
I gave you my all but never did you care
What happened to you was not of my fault
Trying to carry you I put my life to a halt
My method of revenge was to make your life shattered
So I took then from you, when my love should've of mattered
Reaching into your chest with all that I am
I crushed you whole being ruining your plan
You left my heart shattered an turned your back in the end
Your my biggest regret, your such a horrible friend
Never again will I make such a mistake
Before I shall love, I'll watch for a fake
Cruel an vindictive were you playing this game
This was my life, only yourself can hold blame
So my last words to you are ones you have earned
My heart is like fire, now feel my cruel burn
Infatuation an love are never the same
So read this an know, you should cry with your shame

A Rose in Life

My sister my sister, this is what you should know
All my love that you have, along with my hope
And through out this long life no matter the stakes
I will learn all the lessons just to show you the way
With the choices you've made, our father watches in pride
I'd fall to my knees so you might kiss him goodbye
An at the day you were born, I held you and knew
That I'd always be there just to hold you
An when the day came that our father was gone
I picked up his mantle that you had been on
For I am your brother an on my shoulder's you'll rise
If it means your well being I will suffer with pride
My sister my sister your face keeps my heart still
Even when lost, you bring me back with shear will
O Heather my sister so innocent and pure
Our father would weep if he had lived just once more
For my little sister Heather Rose Olson,
May you learn from me an reach the sky.

Through My Travels

I write this to you so you might see
See the resolve in my mind an all I believe
My path has been hard and has taken its toll
An the pain, loss, and sorrow causes my hole
But now more than ever I welcome this pain
Causing my focus as I walk through this rain
An though I might buckle, my shoulders wont give
I'll struggle back up an continue to live
Now over these years I've never felt more alive
My mind, heart, and shoulders are starting to thrive
And when once again I find I'm to bleed
I'll pray to my father, for his strength I will need
So thank you my loved one who always stood by
Even when I was lost an caused you to cry
You gave light to my path an showed me the way
Forever I'll love you, forever I'll stay

One's True Friend

Book O book how you listen so well
Storing my secrets never wanting to tell
We are connected as one as only one can concieve
Heart, mind, and soul you are my reason to be
Through the good times and bad you never had questions
Allowing me to write so you could teach me my lessons
When dark and alone you were my beacon of light
To write down my sorrows that burdened my life
When I found the one you gave the inspiration I sought
Helping a romantic speak of love with only his thought
The times we have shared makes you my friend
For when it gets dark, I know you'll be there again
An when I pass on they will know what you meant to me
For the sonets you hold will be known as our symphony


In dedication to my journal

Cry O Child

Cry O child an give thy tears
Weep to thy God an have no fear
Alone and lost with no where to go
You sit in the dark, only sorrow you know
Knowing no family or the feel of love
His only companion is a lost injured dove
So tears dwell in the little ones eye
As he stares at the stars that dwell in our sky
An tho we all hope his tale ends well
Above looks his parents only wishing to tell
Tell their son that he was onced loved
An how sorry they are that they wait up above
An as I write this poem be honest to yourself
If you walked past this child would you offer him help
An this his how I must finish my tale
It's up to you for blessings to prevail

Pieces of a Puzzle

My heart is depleted, empty an drained
Uncertain of my future am I going insane?
I have no control of whats to come of my fate
I just sit in my head as I wonder in wait
The choses I've made were the best I believe
Am I the only one that saw whats to be
It's out of my hands an i cannot wait
Can I change my direction or am I to late
Like a faucet thats broken I'm dripping away
As my love for you will never decay
Please just see me for what I am
Loyal but a fool I grasp your hand
My reasons for being shall never be seen
For I am the one that has this dream
Tho I'm in pieces an unsure of your heart
I am just a puzzle that has fallen apart
What ever your choice I will hold it true
For in the end I have become apart of you

Perceiving Faces

I sit here an wonder can you see what I see
See the changes in faces that my eye's perceive
For the face of a stranger changes when they become friends
An then when I love them their beauty has no end
An then down the road for reasons unknown
Love becomes hate an gives reason for a poem
So I sit here in thought, how can this be?
One person, four faces playing cruel tricks on me
But remember to thyself whatever the face
One perceives another with love or with hate
An tho you hate someone they are still to be loved
Even strangers and friends have someone to think of
An yes faces change through one's own eyes
But when you see one face the other's dont hide
So read this poem even though its written in youth
Faces might change, but the heart shows you the truth

A Poet's Sorrow

So here I sit among my dreams

Outside my head there is no me

Looking down upon myself

Shedding tears there is no help

My dreams are vague an out of grasp

But etched in stone is relapse

Fly away my sorrow songs

This sea of faces I don’t belong

By my side these strangers stand

But looking down they give no hand

A poet’s sorrow a laughing face

Sheds a tear with so much hate

Frustration for these fragile dreams

What you see is not me

Lost am I now sitting down

I must walk again up off this ground

One's Own Journey

I stare into your eye's only wishing to be
The man that you want but I'm unable to see
Unable to see how you really felt
As you stood by screaming for help
Only seeing the surface an not the cracks
You held me tight an I fell through the gaps
An though so close it seems so far
Now we now who we really are
Both have limits an both have pains
An though I'm crazy I'm not insane
An still my memories will continue to fade
But still I'll dream unafraid
An for all the suffering my heart keeps
It is your smile that brings it peace
I tell you now I'm surrounded by pain
Surrounded by loss followed by shame
But if you could give me a reason to be
I will hold you tight an you will be free
For even though I have not much to give
It is my love not many may live

One Last Look

My thoughts are blurred and still they fade
I'm looking down so afraid
His hand is stiff an lips are blue
His touch is cold, can this be true
My heart's in race from all this panic
I turn my head, I cannot bear it
I see no smile on his face
Nor the love that warmed this place
His eyes are empty an can not see
Who is this man infront of me
Young am I and now know my pain
Destructive paths are what keep me sane
Forever gone, my father's missed
A child torn without his kiss
Now we part an I go my way
He leaves this earth an I must stay
So hear this father an give thy hand
Your son is now his own man
To my father, may you rest in peace

Winter's First Whipser

O my beauty can you feel my whispering

Brushing back your hair as you lay there shivering

My words fall upon you like winter's first snow

Everyone unique, only for you to know

But the blanket I lay upon you feels not cold

For my words are warm hearted an for you to hold

Now rest your weary eyes through this wintery night

An think of my whispering so I may hold you tight

For even the impossible is more than it seems

Just remember my whispering an together we'll dream

We'll dream of a night lying together in snow

As I brush back your hair whispering you not to go